Ten Years Gone
“God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.”
Where were you 10 years ago?
Who was in your circle of influence?
What were you thinking about?
Ten years sounds like a long time, but it often can feel like the blink of an eye. Self-reflection is important, and I find it meaningful to reflect on what desires came to fruition and what fears never became at all.
The Dream
In 2015, my husband Tyson and I were enjoying life as DINKS—Dual Income, No Kids. We were advancing our careers, traveling the world, and our only dependent was a black lab named Stetson. Tyson had earned his pilot’s license, and I had begun the Graduate School of Banking in Boulder, a precursor to a future promotion. Life felt wide open.
At the time, I had two main preoccupations. One was progressing in my career as a banker. The other, the one that lingered deeper, was the question: Will we be able to have a family?
When Tyson was 17, he was diagnosed with Guillain-Barré Syndrome. Though fully recovered, we didn’t know whether that rare illness might affect our ability to have children.
To cope, I leaned into a kind of self-protective reasoning—maybe we weren’t meant to have kids. Perhaps we were just meant to build careers, see the world, and enjoy the life we had. However, deep down, that logic didn’t settle.
When uncertainty meets up with fear, anxiety is created.
By the summer of 2017, I had allowed this fear to turn into full-blown anxiety. Telling myself the lie that we would be fine if we couldn’t have children was no longer working. If you’ve ever experienced severe anxiety, you know what comes next: panic attacks.
One night, I had a dream that Tyson and I were flying together when suddenly, the plane’s engine failed. As the ground rapidly approached, I panicked. Tyson worked through the emergency checklist, but nothing alleviated the situation. In those final moments, all I could do was cry out to Jesus. I knew He was with us—but I was desperate for Him to act. To do something. In the final moments, the plane engine restarted, and we landed safely.
That dream rocked me. It felt real, and was incredibly vivid.
In the days that followed, my anxiety only intensified. It didn’t help that Tyson and I often flew together. I walked and prayed, replaying the dream over and over in my mind. Frustrated and shaken, I asked, “God, what are You trying to tell me?”
Then I heard it—not audibly, but deep in my spirit: “Kari, just trust Me.”
It was the first time I truly felt God speak to me—it stopped me in my tracks.
God’s Plan is Always Better
Not long after, we found out we were pregnant with our first son. Today, we have two beautiful boys, and to be honest, I always desired to have at least two sons. When I look at them now, I think, Wow, God. You had this planned all along. Why did I worry?
Looking back, I see how much time and energy I wasted worrying over what God already had under control. I was also worried about climbing the ladder in banking… and now I’m not even in banking. God had a different plan, and it was so much better than mine.
Jesus tells us:
“Do not worry about tomorrow, for each day has enough trouble of its own.” - (Matthew 6:34)
What Are You Worrying About?
What’s taking up your thoughts? What’s consuming your mind? Is it something too big for God, something you feel you can better control? As the Bible says:
Is anything too hard for the Lord? - (Genesis 18:14)
Take a moment to step outside yourself and examine what it is. Look at what’s weighing on your heart and ask: In ten years, will this still matter? What could it look like if I gave it to God?
We all face trouble, but don’t lose yourself worrying so much about tomorrow that you miss the gift of today. Embrace what God’s given you in this moment. Be thankful—and look back often to remember just how faithful He’s been.
God’s got this. Just trust Him.
Godspeed, my friend.
“Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.”
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